I have just spent the last two weeks with my children. They are 31-years-old and have children of their own. By any reasonable standard they are grown. The question that is running in my spirit today is: Do I treat them like they are grown? I am going to ask myself a few questions and see what they tell me.
How much do I know about my children’s daily lives? This is where my ‘mother heart’ may conflict with what is truly best for my children. I don’t believe I should know about the disagreements that my children have with their spouses. I should not be giving unsolicited advice on marriage or child-rearing. And ‘unsolicited’ should be the key word. If my children want advice, they will ask for it. It will not be some implied request. They never had trouble asking for food or drink so if they need advice, they will ask for it!
Do I speak to them with respect? When I speak to my children, do I speak as I do with my other adult friends? Are our conversations characterized with mutual ‘give and take’? That would mean that I am listening as much, or more, than I am speaking – or lecturing. Do I just roll past my children’s ideas or ways of doing things, giving them the impression that I, of course, know best? Do I wave the ‘I am older and wiser’ flag so frantically that I miss their own flag?
What prayers do I offer for them? This is the most important question, I think. Are my prayers a blessing or are they manipulative? Am I asking God to bless them as He sees fit or change them the way I think they need to change? Galatians 5:22-23 is a good reference! Do I speak blessings over them every day?
Does the life that I lead express to my children who I really am? First, do my children talk about me to other people or would they rather not claim me? When my children do tell stories about me, would it be something that I want to hear? Is it something I want God to hear … again? Does my life speak of the One that I serve? Do I walk my talk?
My questions have given me a lot to consider. I will be listening as God’s Spirit convicts me of areas needing improvement and areas where I have learned His lessons.
I am so very proud of my children who have grown into a man and a woman who have gone through adversity and continue to walk God. They continue to learn and grow, realizing that God isn’t finished with them yet! God isn’t finished with me either.