I don’t think I can even imagine what it would be like to be married to a successful politician or actor. These two professions (in my opinion) are so ‘out there’ in the public eye. There is a weird relationship that must be defined (and lived with) between a politician or actor and the media. Every word that you say, every place you are seen is under scrutiny, judged, and the verdict (accurate or not!) is laid out for thousands, if not millions, to share and ‘feed’ on!
That said, I have continued to find the public relationship of former President Bill Clinton and Senator Hilary Clinton – strange. I just saw a news headline today on cnn.com that quoted former President Clinton as saying, “…this might be the last day” of Senator Clinton’s campaign. Is that what you say when you are supporting your wife? Do you say anything when it’s her campaign that is about policy or strategy without passing it through her? Senator Clinton isn’t saying “Uncle” yet so why is her husband saying it? She certainly has shot herself in the foot often enough but if she happens to miss…her husband has a spare gun oiled and ready!!!
Marriage is hard work without putting it in a very public forum. If communication is the primary key to marriage, communicating through the media (and their interpretation of everything!) must be a nightmare of a strain.
Marriage is also about thinking of and showing consideration of another. Learning to speak after thinking of your spouse’s feelings is real breakthrough in a ‘good’ marriage! How often have I heard Ephesians 5:22-33 quoted as a basis for a ‘good’ marriage. It says that I, as a wife, should be submissive to my husband. It also says that Henry, as a husband, should love me just like Jesus loves His Church. Most women I know are pretty quick to say that their husbands do not love them like they think Jesus loves us, His Church. And so since their husband doesn’t love them like that…they aren’t going to be submissive. But most of us (meaning the wives since I would presume to speak for the husbands!) if we were honest really do not like to use the word ‘submissive’ in the same sentence with our own names. ‘Submissive’ seems like it goes with words like ‘slave’ and ‘door mat’. It’s a trust issues, isn’t it? Most people that know me wouldn’t say that ‘submissive’ is an adjective generally associated with me.
When I got married almost nine years ago, I did something I had never done. I made a commitment with Henry and God. Trust grew. I trusted God. Henry trusted God. So we trusted each other. I trusted Henry that he was thinking of me when he made decisions. Sometimes I knew that because he would pray about ‘stuff’ with me! What a concept!
Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ. Ephesians 5:21 (NIV)
As we, Henry and I, love each other, work together, even ‘cut each other some slack’ – we do it and it glorifies Jesus!